This holiday has been an amazing experience. At the start of the Spring Festival holiday (when Chinese people celebrate their lunar New Year) Christine and I travelled to Tianjin, to visit an friend of hers, Gloria. Gloria had invited us to spend New Years at her place with her husband and son, which was quite an honour. From this point, the holiday proved to be not only very relaxing and fun, but also quite an opportunity to get a glimpse of some real Chinese family life.

Gloria and her family made us feel very welcome in Tianjin. We also met her lovely son, JiaJia ((Lee Jia Xing) who was an absolute darling to play with!) and her husband. We visited a local market, did some shopping, and tried some traditional food. Gloria took us to visit an historical building, a house formerly owned by a famous businessman during the Qin dynasty. Now, when I say house, I mean, mansion, and when I say mansion, I mean several interlinked mansions, a private school, theatre, and park, all within the same walled-off area. The private theatre is the largest owned by a private person in northern China, apart from the one owned by the emperor, in that era. It must have been an honour to be invited there. Knowing that the man had three more of these estates throughout the country, it can be concluded that he was quite wealthy. His daughter, however, must have been bored, not being allowed to do any work, study, or leave the house. We would soon know just what that would be like…

The eve of Chinese New Year, Gloria prepared an even grander meal than the days before, allowing us to feast on no less than twelve different dishes! We went outside several times to set off some fireworks, which JiaJia loved, and enjoyed visits of family and friends throughout the night. Fortunately, we were spared the custom of waking up at 5 in the morning to eat as many Jiaozi (type of pastry, crescent-shaped) as we could, to call wealth and riches to come to us. We woke up on time though, as JiaJia was too excited to stay away too long. At the start of a new year, children are given a red packet (Hong Bao) with money inside, the amount depending on how closely related/befriended you are to/with the child and his/her parents. (The same packets are given to unmarried women, and yes, I have received some!) You can imagine how happy kids are to celebrate New Year!

A few days later, we travelled to the village where Gloria’s parents live. We couldn’t travel there sooner, because, traditionally, it is not allowed for Gloria, a married woman, to travel to her parents’ town until a few days after New Year. After about two hours, we arrived in the village, where we were very warmly welcomed into the family.

Gloria’s family consists of her parents, her three older brothers, their wives and children, and their grandchildren. Gloria is the youngest child and, being a modern, hardworking and successful businesswoman, she did not marry as young as she could have, so that her son is now about the same age as the grandchildren of her brothers. In a western family tree, that would look something like family tree (1).

To the Chinese, however, the family tree looks like family tree (2).This family tree does not so much show who is descendent from whom, but shows instead the Confusianist relationships that now exist between the family members. I must admit that all this knowledge comes mostly from Christine, who has explained a great deal to me.

Meals, for example, were taken in the living room, where two tables were set for the family and guests (us two). These tables, however, did not allow for everyone in the family to sit at the same time, mostly because people often were visiting friends, were late for breakfast (guilty as charged), or had already had something to eat. So, during any meal, but mostly during dinner, which everyone sort of enjoyed at the same time, a game of musical chairs could be witnessed, where people stood up and sat down according to rank.

For example, there was always a table filled with granddad, the three sons, perhaps Gloria, and sometimes Grandma, but she always kept pretty busy. Sometimes, she shared the other table with us, the guests, the Sao’s, or Aunties, and the grandkids (her great-grandkids), depending on how many relatives where in the house. According to seating during meals, I’d say Christine and I were ranked amongst the Aunties.

According to the rest of the day, however, we seemed to outrank even Grandma, as we discovered what it is like to be a single female guest in this house. As a guest, we were not allowed to help with any chores. Sweeping the courtyard? Grandma had already done it after waking up at 5 in the morning, hadn’t we heard the rooster? Cleaning up after breakfast? The Aunties and the second generation of wives took care of it, taking bowls and chopsticks out of our hands. Getting some water for tea? I didn’t manage to get the flask out of the living room for the first three days, and was actually proud of myself for managing to sneak one through when everybody else was occupied. When Christine told Grandma of my achievement, she laughed. As single females, we were not allowed to leave the courtyard without a married escort, preferably male. Fortunately, Christine managed to persuade Grandma to allow us to go for a short stroll around the block, and Gloria was kind enough to take us for a walk through the village at some point, and even a trip to a frozen lake a few days later! Unfortunately, we didn’t miss lunch…

You see, the one thing Christine warned me about when I agreed to come with her up North, was the amount of food I’d be expected to eat. At Gloria’s house in Tianjin, the food already was brought out in overwhelming amounts, but in the village, every meal literally was fit for a king, his queen, and the remainder of their court. The added bonus consisted of the fact that politely declining is an insult to the family, and that Grandma graciously placed every dish I touched right next to me, encouraging me to eat more of it. After five days of eating, sleeping, eating, and sleeping, I was feeling very well rested and extremely very well fed, but ready to depart for Shanghai. Hospitality really can come in abundance, but it certainly was an experience I thoroughly enjoyed.